The Chemist

So…Stephenie Meyer strikes again (actually she stroke last November and I just had no idea). This could either go very badly or very well depending on the circumstances. Fortunately, for “The Chemist” it went fairly well for the most part.

        Stephenie Meyer’s new novel for adults features a motley cast of twin brothers who couldn’t be more opposite and a lethal lady who knows her way around a laboratory, an interrogation room, and apparently Daniel’s heart. Awwwww.

        So, where to begin. To call out the vampire in the room, Stephenie Meyer has (and will always have) a reputation. You don’t write a quartet series about teenage vampires and come away unscathed. She’s a household name, whether she likes it or not, and while it pains me to say it, I think Meyers has actually been more successful branching out from her trademark series than J.K Rowling, whose adult fiction I’ve steered away from reading for various reasons.

But back to “The Chemist” Stephanie’s second adult novel, she didn’t do too bad of a job, which, following “The Host” isn’t actually all that surprising.

        While the main character, Alex, Juliana, Oleander or whatever else Stephenie Meyer could think of to call her was fine as a narrator, the character still slightly clings to the Mary Sue like sniffs that entirely rotted away Bella Swan, and while Juliana Fortis is much more deadly and as equally socially constipated as Bella dear, her originality and character still lacks.

The other two main characters, Kevin and Daniel, are neat characters; they never truly gave me the notion of loving them. They were easy to like, interesting at most, but not noteworthy. Nothing to fantasize about or create fanart for or write erotic fiction in your spare time.

        What did drive this novel however, and drive it well, was the plot. The plot was interesting, educational, and very impressive for Stephenie Meyer. For an author pegged as writing one of the most primitive young adult series in history, this book offers a very in depth look into torture, chemistry, reconnaissance, spying, and in a sense, surviving.

I learned more medical terms in this book than I did in biology. It’s always impressive and deeply appreciated when an author puts a tremendous amount of research effort into their novels, a feat that Stephenie Meyer pulled off quite well. Kudos, to you Twilight Queen.

        So with a great plot, likeable characters, and interesting, well incorporated research, you might ask yourself, where-if at all-did she go wrong? The question is well founded and I give you two examples.

        Example one: the romance. Despite the cutting off of toes and rings bursting with acid, this is still Stephenie Meyer and romance still reigns supreme. The romance between Daniel and Alex, while sweet, I found highly unrealistic and almost off-putting. Who has ever heard of a gorgeous man with hazel eyes falling in love with a plain girl who almost tortured him to death?

I didn’t’ find it cute and unusual. I found it creepy and bordering on Stockholm Syndrome. It was too forced and unfathomably quick. He was saying I love you after two days. It worked for Edward Cullen. It does not work for Daniel Beach. Only century old vampires can get away with a feat like that.

        Example two: Einstein. While I love dogs, dogs are awesome, man’s best friend and all, Einstein was essentially a person that couldn’t talk and walks on four legs instead of two. With off the roof intelligence, Einstein was a key figure in every mission, every success, every conversation, and every emotion. It was downright ridiculous. If dogs that smart actually existed, we wouldn’t be bagging groceries at Ralph’s or typing emails: we’d be leaving bowls of water and bone chew toys out for our dog overlords.

For a novel steeped in the (mostly) realistic, Einstein almost seemed supernatural, like one of Jake’s pack members instead of Kevin Beach’s sidekick.

        Overall, I enjoyed “The Chemist”. While I felt like the relationship between the three main characters could have used some more polish, the novel should pretty brightly on its own. Well done, Stephenie Meyer well done.

Recommendation: If you like CSI, the x-files, Criminal Minds, or any kind of spy movie this is your book. If you don’t like torture or cheesy romance this is better left on the clearance shelf at Barnes and Noble

Score: 7/10